Hi alle,

Danke, Sabine und Balluu für den Ansporn.

Vorsicht, hier folgt der Englische Text. Balluu, wenn Du das übersetzten tust, nehm ich meinen Hut vor Dir ab. Mein Beitrag ist ähnlich wie der von Alexander...

Here goes...
About a year and a half ago I met the most charming (at the time) young lady with whom I fell deeply in love. The relationship became extremely intense within a very short time and within weeks we realised we were soulmates and that we would get married soon, notwithstanding the fact that she is 22 years my junior. It was a like a dream come true. We talked about the age difference many times and both agreed that we were too much in love to worry about it and that it did not make a difference. Only our love for each other was important. I noticed some odd behaviour in her at times, but it did not bother me too much, as I ascribed this to her young age.

Due to certain circumstances I moved in with her and the parents during January last year. (Just to keep it in perspective though, not as a result of financial problems. The details are of no relevance here). Five months later we had an engagement ring made. We were ready to decide on a date to get engaged. Roughly at the same time I came to notice she was on chronic medication (Cypramil). This upset me quite a bit, because there should be no dishonesty in a relationship.

I then learnt that the medication was for depression, which came as a surprise to me. She never appeared depressed, but reaching back I would say rather a bit hypomanic at times. (I can say that now, having read up a lot about bipolar illness). At the time I did not know she was biploar and that the wrong dosage of antidepressants can make bipolar ill people high.

In September last year she had a relapse (actually started in July if I think back now) and became depressed in spite of the medication. I must be honest and say that living with the parents did put strain on the relationship, though I have read that bipolars can get depressed because of a butterfly flapping his wings in Brazil. Or could it be because of the emotional high she had experienced for so many months? Anyway, the depression made her emotionally numb and she told me to leave since she had "fallen out of love with me". She basically kicked me out of her life within a day. (Werde diesen Tag auch nie in meinem Leben vergessen). I gave her the assurance that I would support her through this no matter what but she became increasingly intolerable and verbally abusive towards me.

I then heard that she had been diagnosed as bipolar with OCD, ADD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety Disorder and Body Dysmorphic Disorder and God knows what else. How many of these diagnoses are correct I do not know. After we separated, I tried to stay in contact but she did not respond very well to my advances. She went to see her psychiatrist who put her on anticonvulsant medication and after that all hell broke loose, so much so that I could not take her verbal abuse any longer. I saw her on a public internet chatline where she described me a "sick ****" and a "failure in life", etc, telling this to people whom she had never even met in her life. Her verbal diarrhea was appalling. When I confronted her with it she swore at me and wanted to know why I was stalking her. This is when I broke off contact completely, realising that she was probably in a manic phase and that it would be no use to try and help.

Shortly after that she changed her mobile phone number. This did however not mean that I could not still contact her by e-mail or phone her at work or home. I am inclined to think that she had so many affairs with other men during her manic episode with the associated pathologic increase in sex drive, that she eventually had to do this, because of the harassment. A week ago I dropped off some information about the disease (md) at her parents house, hoping this would help them understand better what is going on with their daughter. Unfortunately the disease is not as widely recognised in this country as in other parts of the world. Her parents are under the impression that it will go away after some time, either from the medication or by itself. (Life experience will sort her out - yeah, right).

After that (last Monday), I received a phone call from her, and she told me that she had been to a different psychiatrist, who diagnosed that she had been on the wrong medication (I could have told her that, if she had let me) and that she is off medication now completely. Also, that she is now living in her own place and has a good relationship with a new guy, blah, blah. And that she is neither depressed or manic. (Manische Aussage?) What was also surprising for me to hear is that, in her opinion, her affection for me was induced by the medication. Is this possible? She was only on antidepressants when I met her. There was one encouraging thing though - she said she has taken up the German lessons again, which she also stopped when we parted last year. Could this mean there is still some hope for me? It is now six months later and I am torn between hope and calling it a day. I still love this person very much, although I am over the worst emotional stress. (Ich denke an Dich, Alexander) I really would like her to lead a quality life and not die from secondary causes. I am very concerned that her not taking any medication might have dire consequences in the near future. However, at the moment she is still not open to any advice from me and does not want me to interfere with her life.

Was meint Ihr hierzu?

Grüsse, Per